Compassionate Recovery from Indoctrination
Part IV: Targeted Interventions and Hope
[This is the fourth article in a 4-part series. Read: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3]
“Nobody joins a cult. They just postpone the decision to leave.”1
When a person is under destructive influence, they may become “unrecognizable” and unreachable. This is because the cultish influence causes a dissociation that results in a second cult identity being formed.
This is very sad and disconcerting, obviously, but stay calm.
According to cult expert Steve Hassan, the rescue goal is to reconnect the individual with their authentic identity, while recognizing that there are reasons why the person was drawn to this belief system in the first place, and which might require addressing. Think of the young person as being in distress, and needing help to get out of trouble.
Hassan’s recommendations include:
Keep the lines of communication open and don’t issue ultimatums or threats.
Gather information on the belief system that is being adopted uncritically.
Do not criticize the belief system itself; there is training to block this out.
Show interest in the person’s cult identity.
Look for the healthy, positive qualities in the cult identity–such as dedication and idealism–in order to reconnect.
Do unrelated things together to reconnect with the person’s authentic identity.
Find ways to remind the person of positive past memories and experiences.
Facilitate positive exposure to non-members.
Provide enhanced access to outside sources of information.
Bring to consciousness negative experiences which the person undoubtedly will have had with the destructive group.
Build a team of others who can see the problem clearly.
Network with other families in the same situation. You may be able to gain helpful allies as their loved ones break free.
Hassan points out that so-called “deprogramming” can be carried too far, and can even veer into coercive or illegal activity. This is counterproductive and violates the individual’s rights and free will; two wrongs do not equal a right. Instead, he recommends emphasizing the capacity for reality-testing extreme ideas; we refer you to Steven’s work and website for more detailed information on how to implement these and other recommended strategies successfully and ethically.
Protecting Your Kids
Maybe you haven’t personally experienced any of this, but you’ve observed others who have and want to do everything you can to prevent your own child or family from becoming ensnared with any kind of destructive or controlling belief system.
Teach critical thinking, assertiveness, and healthy boundaries.
Teach about destructive/undue influence. One of the reasons people are drawn to cults is because there is widespread lack of awareness of how they operate.
Learn the loaded language and coded jargon that concerning groups or belief systems use to shut down critical thinking. This can be tricky, since cults excel at spreading propaganda and misinformation.
Get professional help early! [See this important caveat in Part 2, about selecting appropriate professionals. Make sure that it is the right kind of help and not counterproductive or exacerbating.]
This is the barest introduction to this incredibly difficult and highly emotional topic. You will need to read and understand more to prepare yourself to be effective in assisting an ideologically captured individual to loosen the grip of a destructive belief system; we only hope to provide you with some direction and a starting point.
As Hassan references in Combating Cult Mind Control: “Nobody joins a cult. They just postpone the decision to leave.” Let’s hasten their departure and be courageous enough to take the necessary steps to restore independence and freedom of mind through informed and compassionate outreach.
Recommended resources:
Freedom of Mind Resource Center
Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves
Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs
Ending the Game, a “coercion resiliency” curriculum
The Language of Fanaticism: Cultish
Beyond Cult Deprogramming: The New Goal is to Empower Reality Testing
Desist, Detrans & Detox: Getting Your Child Out of the Gender Cult
A Mother’s Intuition About Gentle Deprogramming
This is the fourth article in a 4-part series. Part 1 is on Deprogramming Ideologically Captured Kids; Part 2 is on Destructive Influence Warning Signs; Part 3 is on Overcoming the Dangerous Allure of Victimhood Cults.
Bonnie Snyder, D.Ed. is trained as a school counselor and CEO of Terra Firma Teaching Alliance. She is the author of Undoctrinate: How Politicized Classrooms Harm Kids and Ruin Our Schools–And What We Can Do About It.
Christine Sefein, MA, LMFT is a training psychotherapist and Professor of Clinical Psychology specializing in grief, trauma and substance use disorders. She authored the chapter “Miseducation of Psychotherapists” in the book, Cynical Therapies: Perspectives on the Anti-therapeutic Nature of Critical Social Justice.
Power of Persuasion: How We’re Bought and Sold by Robert Levine
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